What We Can Learn From T.I.’s Red Table Talk
Today’s climate of social media and information heavy arenas are increasingly difficult to sift through, without the occasional ire inducing twitter thread, video, think piece or article.
Some love to posit that we are being socially engineered to be continually outraged by media in a large for-profit conspiracy to distract us from (checks notes) reaching our truest potential. #keepyourfiftheyeopen #staysleep
So I want to encourage you all, not to be outraged in reading this piece but to be open minded here.
Clifford “T.I.” Harris is better known for his work as a rapper and entertainer. He has had very successful outings with numerous award winning and highly acclaimed albums since his first release “I’m Serious” in 2001.
He is also an actor and has appeared in several big Hollywood productions such as ATL, American Gangster, Takers and Marvel Studios’ Ant-Man.
He has also done television, with the NETFLIX rap talent show Rhythm + Flow, alongside Cardi B and Chance The Rapper where he was a judge, and the reality television show T.I. and Tiny: The Family Hustle, alongside his children and wife, successful singer and song-writer, Tameka “Tiny” Cottle.
In recent years T.I. has been very involved in speaking on social and political issues that impact Black People primarily. He openly speaks on wanting to be a part of prison reform, Black businesses, entrepreneurship and wants to bring attention to local and elected politics. However he doesn’t feel he has the right to call himself an activist, even when others in the media look to champion him as such.
Harris has served two terms in county jail, twice for probation violations and a federal prison bid for a U.S. federal weapons charge, which undoubtedly have impacted his push for reevaluations of the prison systems that target and disadvantage so many Black Men.
It is important to acknowledge that there is so much about what T.I. has been doing and advocating for on behalf of Black People that is necessary work. Too often we ask celebrities to be vocal and adamant about issues we the public want championed, and taking up that mantle should be something we salute and admire.
Recently T.I. came under much fire for his statements on a podcast where he explained how he made it a point every year to go to the doctor with his daughter in order make sure her hymen was still intact.
This comment exploded across the internet and enraged many people who saw it as a violation of women’s rights, privacy as well as exerting control over women’s bodies and sexuality.
After a brief hiatus from social media, T.I. emerged with the intent of speaking on this issue officially on the Jada Pinkett Smith talk show Red Table Talk.
On the episode T.I. attempts to clarify what he believes people have confused about his comments, which he says were embellished, and that his intentions have been misconstrued and misconceived by the public.
He opens by asking what is the purpose of a father in present day society, for as he sees it;
“a father like myself that wants to be involved…could draw the conclusion that we just donate sperm and pay for things and we don’t really have no say so.”
The interview is a softer touch than what is needed to inform someone with the sensibilities of T.I. however.
Jada Pinkett Smith and her mother both attempt to impart wisdom on him from the perspective that he can be reached through the softness and kindness that is normally expected of black women regardless of the scenario.
There is even a clear understanding that if Jada’s daughter Willow were present that the tone would be far more challenging for him, as Willow is known for her more progressive and liberal views and would more than likely take him to task for many of the things he says.
In the interview he states how Black Women are the most unprotected, unattended and disregarded women on the planet and that he believes he is being attacked for protecting “his.”
Making himself the victim here with little acknowledgement of wrongdoing throughout this interview and in turn shielding himself with Black Women.
T.I. is also often purported as intelligent, due to the use of his vernacular, but when the term patriarchal structure is used by Jada, he says he doesn’t know what it means and has to have it explained to him. He even asks if “females” have tried to explain patriarchy’s oppressive nature to men.
In many ways it comes off as a ridiculous and comedic moment but it begs the question of, how is he advocating for all Black People without knowing or acknowledging that patriarchy exists as a structure of oppression. (I am scared to hear his thoughts on Disabled or LGBTQ+ Black People.)
If T.I. can say that Black Women are the most unprotected, unattended and disregarded women on the planet, then how could he come to that position without the remotest understanding of patriarchal structure?
This is more than likely because the advocacy he takes part in, often centers Black Men and only uses Black Women when it is necessary.
Many of the men who are championed as leaders within the Black community often see the issues presented by Black Women as secondary to their own, and never do the work to educate themselves and truly rise up to protect Black Women.
We often forget the importance of Black Women in dismantling so much of the systems of oppression that have affected us as Black Men, but find comfort in the emotional and physical labor of these women fighting and championing these causes.
Which is partly what T.I. is doing here, by going to a forum that is very much about expelling that emotional labor, when he truly needed to be engaged and challenged by progressive and educated Black Men.
I wish Black Men would confront and hold men like T.I. accountable for their words and actions, so they were far more informed and challenged towards being better and more empathetic towards the plight of Black Women. But we don’t confront one another because we too often fear the reactions and backlash from other Black Men.
However, Black Men are not the only ones who forget the contributions from Black Women.
Feminism and Women’s Suffrage would not be as fervent and advanced without Black Women. The fight for LGBTQ+ Rights and the Me Too Movement also wouldn’t be as pronounced without the tireless work of Black Women, but we seem to forget that we need to listen and advocate for them as well.
T.I.’s Red Table Talk gives us many valuable lessons, but I would start by asking Black Men to see this as an opportunity to educate themselves on the plights of Black Women and Black Girls.
To hold each other accountable for our actions.
To understand the difference between control and care for the Black Women and Black Girls in our lives.
To stop trying to control Black Women and Black Girls bodies and sexuality.
To understand the nuanced and varied lives of our Black Women and Black Girls.
To know that Black Women and Black Girls are not only here in support of us.
To acknowledge that Black Women and Black Girls exist even when they are not only our wives, significant others, family members and offspring.
To tell the world that Black Women and Black Girls lives have value beyond what they can do for us.
To protect Black Women and Black Girls even when they hold us accountable.
To respect that Black Women and Black Girls exist and they owe us nothing. To remember that Black Women and Black Girls need us to advocate for their rights and their lives just as richly and intensely as we advocate for our own.
To be aware that advocacy for Black Women and Black Girls in no way lessens or replaces us as Black Men or Black Boys but strengthens us.
And no matter what, we must never forget our Black Women and Black Girls because without them we are nothing.