Derrick Jaxn is part of a bigger problem with Relationship Gurus targeting women
I am baffled by our obsession with telling women to be better.
From the well-meaning soft misogyny of Steve Harvey to the more overt, crass lecturing of jerks like Kevin Samuels, we continually tell women they aren’t good enough.
Here enters Christian relationship guru Derrick Jaxn.
You may have come across Derrick on Instagram.
Seeing him slouched in his car, giving a forever unimpressed expression as he offers relationship advice to women.
Friends of mine who saw his fairly accessible points as laudable, had sent me his videos, but I was blissfully unaware of who he was and I always had the same questions; Where is he driving to in his videos? Why is he always unimpressed? Does he have bad posture? Why is he not talking to men?
I got none of the answers to these questions, but something mildly shocking happened.
The world found out this week that Mister Jaxn, who fashioned himself as a Christian relationship guru, cheated on his wife. The details emerged when his former mistress told the world of his infidelity.
How does it look for a supposed Christian relationship guru to cheat on his wife? To quote Kardinal Offishall, “dat nah mek it.”
This put Derrick into crisis mode, and he put out a series of videos meant to address everything.
The first video addressed and downplayed the allegations. However, the second video caught everyone’s attention.
Derrick and his wife Da’Naia Jackson did a video to explain everything and it was something straight out of a Tyler Perry movie.
A Christian couple sitting and explaining themselves to the entire world after it came to light that Derrick took part in a series of illicit affairs.
Now they declare their love and commitment to God and each other as they stay the course. Someone call Lifetime.
The video in question was intriguing. People felt Da’Naia was agreeing with him against her will like some kind of hostage video. (This was soon dispelled once she put out her own videos.)
I’m less convinced of this as I think that, religious dogma aside, two adults can choose to repair their marriage from infidelity if they want to. (If Jay and Beyonce can do it, then anyone can)
However, I’ve divorced myself from that narrative after realising how much the two seem dedicated to the grift of now selling a healed and Godly marriage.
This is clear from the narcissistic plugging of his books in these videos.
A friend said to me they do not understand why these gurus target women.
I responded it is just another way to control them.
They intend to create the women they want.
The perfect woman who is docile and accepts you without question.
This means any abuse, longing, or dissatisfaction women suffer gets cast aside.
This leaves many women to take bare minimum behavior from men.
Men like Derrick Jaxn don’t target women only, but they know their type of man attracts women. But they continue to insist that all fault remains with the woman.
Putting the responsibility on women while men continue to pursue objects and possessions.
Cue Jay Z ft DMX — “Money Cash Hoes”
These gurus are not as successful with men because men need empowerment far less than women. We need healing.
We have lots of power already, but we are told that we need more. To have more access, more things, more money, more sex, and more women.
Derrick Jaxn has a much harder time convincing other men that they can achieve these things by listening to his advice.
They then have to contend with the toxic masculinity that perceives these messages of wellness and oneness as weak and not aligning with pursuing possessions.
We perceive him and his kind as non-threatening and soft, but to women, they are saying exactly what they want to hear. These men know they stand a far better chance of preying upon women than they do men. Maybe it is because they are semi-famous? Maybe it is because they are wealthy? Maybe it is because they are Christians?
I am not sure what makes these types of men suddenly become the best relationship experts bet they are never any good at relationships themselves. Steve Harvey has three divorces. Kevin Samuels has two divorces.
And Derrick Jaxn, well…
It all boils down to the same grift.
You too can have the man of your dreams if you listen to my 12 part webinar series and go to my retreat where you buy my 5 books.
I am not sure which part of the Bible tells men to scam women repeatedly, but I am pretty sure these scammers can repeat it by heart.
Whichever part of The Book of Scams they are reading from, I hope we can spot them far faster when we see these clowns coming to sell women their snake oil.
But who am I to deny someone the chance to make a dollar. I might find it reprehensible but at least you can continue live-streaming from your house built off exploiting women’s pain and suffering.
Instead of trying to spend so much of our energy telling women who they should be, I want these men to help other men to heal.
Men need kinship, security, and brotherhood that supports and assists us in being our best selves without trampling women in the process. I don’t think these types of men are the ones to assist in making this a reality but it is what we deserve.
Who knows, maybe that may make just as much money as scamming women.